Make the Leap: 4 Ways to Move from ‘SEEM’ to ‘BE’

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Had a call today with a good friend of mine – he’s been worried about his drinking.

I asked if it’s become a problem, is his wife is having problems with it, is it causing problems in his marriage or affecting how he parents his young kids?

The answer was no.

He said he blows off steam every now and then, when the pressure of being HIM gets too much.

The pressure of being HIM.

The booze was just a symptom of something bigger eating at him.

He lives what many would consider an ideal life – beautiful wife, 2.5 happy and healthy children and a dog living in a big house in one of the finest and most expensive towns in his area.

It’s like they stepped out of an L.L. Bean catalogue.

He works for a great company, makes a lot of money and has met with a lot of corporate success.

He’s on the other side of 40 – and I think that’s where the challenge lies. I am 47 and know I am in the second half of my life. It’s a place I never thought I’d be in when I was in my 20’s. It came quickly.

He has been faced with the question of “Is this all there is?”

That’s not to belittle what he has, but rather to recognize that at a certain point men start to wonder what their legacy will be – what they will be known for – will it be for the guy who sat atop the sales leaderboard, built a company, ran the fastest race, had the Bugatti, won a World Championship, or was the top member at Bushwood Golf Club. Or hopefully, something much more meaningful than that.

Here in North Carolina, the state motto is “To Be, Rather Than to Seem.”

How many men live lives trying to SEEM rather than to BE?

We have to have it all together – the wife the kids the car the house the job – we need to have the appearance of wealth, health and success.

We are the main actor in a twisted version of our life where we feel like we need to be strong, successful, rich and void of emotion in order to weather life’s storms and lead the family to prosperity and happiness.

How do we move from SEEM to BE?

How do we capture authenticity and let go of what the world says we SHOULD do or what the world EXPECTS from us?

We cannot expect to help anyone else unless we first help ourselves – it’s the old flight attendant thing – put the oxygen mask on yourself first so then you are capable of helping others.

We need to put the oxygen mask on – breathe life into ourselves – then we can be in a position to help others and be of maximum service to our families and the world.

It starts with focusing on our health, our peace, our creativity and our connection to God/Higher Power in order to move to a place of authenticity – a place where you can BE.

  • HEALTH – make better food choices, exercise everyday. If you are a couch potato – get up and start moving – start slow. Improve a little bit each day. It didn’t take you overnight to get unhealthy – so don’t expect rock hard abs in 2 weeks only working out 7 minutes a day. Time takes time.
  • PEACE – our emotional health. What do you do for peace? Pray, meditate, get out in nature, read, quiet time. Helping someone else brings an inner peace as the result of serving others and gratitude is a direct result of helping others in need.
  • CREATIVITY – do you write? start a journal or a blog. Music? play guitar, write a song. Paint? Ice sculpt? Do what makes you feel good, get out of yourself and create, and when you have tapped into that creative vein, it makes you more productive at work, at home, as a husband, father and son.
  • CONNECTION TO GOD/HIGHER POWER – Wake up and thank God everyday. Pray, meditate, make a gratitude list. The closer you connect to your Higher Power, when you reach those ‘thin places’ where you can feel the presence of God, will have a carryover effect into your day and your life.

 

Small improvements everyday lead up to BIG results. It takes time, but as soon as you start you can see powerful results.

Do these every day. Until you die. Because that’s how the story ends. You had no control of the beginning, but the middle – the meat of the story – is up to you.

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” 
Ernest Hemingway

 

What are some other ways you can move from SEEM to BE?

Please comment or share!

 

Dave Rynne is a Business Development professional who believes there is always a better way to get things done. He writes about best sales practices, sales acceleration and how his past experiences have shaped his present Sales 2.0 philosophy. He believes in the power of Content Marketing. He likes to mix it up by writing other important stuff too.

Read more here:

Dave Rynne’s HubSpot Sales Blog

The Sun May Come Out Tomorrow, But I Need Its Light Today

 

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Going through the comments of my last post – What If Tomorrow Never Comes? – someone said I should plan for tomorrow, just don’t take it for granted. I liked that, and there is truth there, but my response was “I try not to take it for granted because I know its not guaranteed. The sun may come out tomorrow but I need it’s light today.”

If I’m time traveling – worrying about tomorrow (or waiting for the ‘good’ and ‘happiness’ to happen tomorrow) or regretting the past, I am not in today, not present now. I spend a lot of time there; I really should have a custom made time travel suit built.

“Annie” sung The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow (I first saw it on stage with the original – Andrea McArdle – she was fantastic). Ever the optimist, she took action to “stick out her chin and grin” to face the day and try to make others happy with the hopes of a better tomorrow. A bright, shiny tomorrow.

The potential doom and gloom of today, along with the worry of tomorrow and the regrets of yesterday, has the capability of messing up our day before its even begun. I need tomorrow’s sun today! I need the light today! I need that light to shine on what’s in front of me so I can take action and do something about it, with it and for it.

Am I living for today, or dying for tomorrow?

I could fly to California, sit at a phone and make a call to New Zealand – I could technically be calling a friend tomorrow from today. That may be the only way to ‘cheat’ time.

But I live in today, so that’s where I need to stay if I want peace, happiness and a sense of fulfillment. If I want a better tomorrow, I need to do the work today. Work on myself today. Better myself today. Choose to be happy today.

We need to be active participants in our lives right here and now.

This is all easier said than done, but like everything else, it starts with the first step. Take the first step to be present in this moment and appreciate what you have right now.

Stop everything, close your eyes, take a deep breath and say “thank you”.

OK, are you back? Great. Welcome to now.

A better today gives you a much bigger chance at a better tomorrow.

So keep pushing for it, keep working for it – just keep on.

When you stay in today and find ways to help other people, take action and have a positive impact on those around you, your light will shine like the rising sun. You will forget about yesterday and be too busy in today to worry about tomorrow.

You can bet your bottom dollar on it.

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What are some of the things you do to stay in today to make for a better tomorrow?

Please comment below!

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Dave Rynne is a Business Development professional who believes there is always a better way to get things done. He writes about best sales practices, sales acceleration and how his past experiences have shaped his present Sales 2.0 philosophy.

Read more here:

Dave Rynne’s HubSpot Sales Blog

Dave Rynne’s LinkedIn Profile

What If Tomorrow Never Comes?

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I went to a funeral this past weekend – a young man’s life cut too short. 33 years and 27 days he spent alive – living, loving and doing.

33 years and 27 days.

Seeing his family was tough, I know his dad and 2 brothers. I didn’t know him at all, but now I know all I needed to know about him.

He was a son, a brother, a friend, a baseball player, a golfer and a young man who called his parents each day and told them that he loved them. He was a doer.

33 years and 27 days.

Tomorrow is not promised to us.

Are you doing everything you can to plan personal and professional goals and work to achieve them? If tomorrow never comes for you, will you leave behind a chorus of shoulda woulda coulda’s?

Life is short – a funeral is a stark reminder of this.

What will you leave behind?

Will it be a history of waiting for things to happen to and for you? Will your story include actions you took each day to make yourself better and move one more step forward to reaching your goals or will it be filled with “I’ll do it tomorrow”?

James Altucher loves to write about improving yourself just 1% a day because by the end of the year you will have improved exponentially, created new habits and most likely changed your life.

1% doesnt seem like much, but like the power of compounding in investment returns, 1% a day compounded over a year results in significant changes in attitude, actions and outlooks on life.

For those of us in sales, the end of the month is a funeral of sorts – the month has ended, it’s over, how will it be recorded? How will you and your actions (or inactions) be remembered? The leaderboard never lies.

We are reborn each month to address how we will be remembered – are you doing everything you can to fill your pipeline, network, have positive conversations, set appointments, reach goals and add massive value to your clients and prospects?

We die a thousand deaths a day with rejection, but it will be how we responded, how we lived that matters and how we will be remembered.

Don’t sit on the sidelines waiting to die.

33 years and 27 days.

Get up, make the change, improve 1% each day, read books (I’d recommend Ryan Stewman’s “Elevator to the Top: Your Go-To Resource for All Things Sales“) , read blogs (Mike Weinberg’s – The New Sales Coach blog), help someone who can’t repay you, make your boss and co-workers look good, push, grind, tell the people you love that you love them and don’t ever give up.

When the screen fades to black in the movie of your life, make sure the credits tell the story of all the things you did and not the things you waited to do.

33 years and 27 days.

Make today count.

Use the CATAPULT Method to Break out of a Sales Slump

I liked one of the methods The Hardcore Closer had on his podcast to help you pull yourself out of a sales slump.
The guy has no problem getting in your face, but he offers this advice for free because he wants to help those of us in the sales community to get better. He puts out some solid content, so when I heard this episode, I felt the need to pass this info on – I hope it helps.
Everyone hits a sales slump – but how you respond to it determines whether or not you break out of it or let it drag you down and become the new normal.
The Hardcore Closer used the acronym – CATAPULT – to explain one way to break free from the slump.
Catapults take a tremendous amount of stress as they are drawn back until they are triggered and it uses all that stress and tension to launch forward.
The first thing you need to do is be aware that you are in a slump, and once you recognize what’s going on, apply the CATAPULT method:
C – Commit – commit to making a change after you’ve identified you’re in a slump and working through it.
A – Admit – Admit its your fault you’re in a slump in the first place – don’t blame others – that’s weak. Accept responsibility.
T – Temporary – It’s temporary – nothing lasts forever including slumps – things wont always be the way they are at this moment – work through it.
A – Act – take action – act as if you’ve already worked out of it – don’t speak negatively – tell yourself you are getting better and heading towards a sale and breaking the slump.
P – Put yourself in a Position to win – make more calls – ask for more referrals – start more conversations.
U – Utilize – utilize everything at your disposal – utilize every Ace you have – what’s gonna make your winning hand – use everything you have in your network to win.
L – Let the tension build – pull back that band of the catapult and let the tension build so you can spring forward and smash through whats holding you back.
T- Trigger – whats the ONE thing you can do to trigger a positive chain of events to take you out of the slump and level up? Trigger the momentum that sets of that series of events that blasts you out of the slump.
Keep this in mind the next time you hit a sales slump. Remember that its temporary and it doesn’t need to last long when you have strategies and a plan of action to move yourself past a slump and to the top of the leaderboard.
And don’t forget to watch out for #ThatSalesShow I’ll be starting soon. It’s gonna be awesome!