Make the Leap: 4 Ways to Move from ‘SEEM’ to ‘BE’



Had a call today with a good friend of mine – he’s been worried about his drinking.

I asked if it’s become a problem, is his wife is having problems with it, is it causing problems in his marriage or affecting how he parents his young kids?

The answer was no.

He said he blows off steam every now and then, when the pressure of being HIM gets too much.

The pressure of being HIM.

The booze was just a symptom of something bigger eating at him.

He lives what many would consider an ideal life – beautiful wife, 2.5 happy and healthy children and a dog living in a big house in one of the finest and most expensive towns in his area.

It’s like they stepped out of an L.L. Bean catalogue.

He works for a great company, makes a lot of money and has met with a lot of corporate success.

He’s on the other side of 40 – and I think that’s where the challenge lies. I am 47 and know I am in the second half of my life. It’s a place I never thought I’d be in when I was in my 20’s. It came quickly.

He has been faced with the question of “Is this all there is?”

That’s not to belittle what he has, but rather to recognize that at a certain point men start to wonder what their legacy will be – what they will be known for – will it be for the guy who sat atop the sales leaderboard, built a company, ran the fastest race, had the Bugatti, won a World Championship, or was the top member at Bushwood Golf Club. Or hopefully, something much more meaningful than that.

Here in North Carolina, the state motto is “To Be, Rather Than to Seem.”

How many men live lives trying to SEEM rather than to BE?

We have to have it all together – the wife the kids the car the house the job – we need to have the appearance of wealth, health and success.

We are the main actor in a twisted version of our life where we feel like we need to be strong, successful, rich and void of emotion in order to weather life’s storms and lead the family to prosperity and happiness.

How do we move from SEEM to BE?

How do we capture authenticity and let go of what the world says we SHOULD do or what the world EXPECTS from us?

We cannot expect to help anyone else unless we first help ourselves – it’s the old flight attendant thing – put the oxygen mask on yourself first so then you are capable of helping others.

We need to put the oxygen mask on – breathe life into ourselves – then we can be in a position to help others and be of maximum service to our families and the world.

It starts with focusing on our health, our peace, our creativity and our connection to God/Higher Power in order to move to a place of authenticity – a place where you can BE.

  • HEALTH – make better food choices, exercise everyday. If you are a couch potato – get up and start moving – start slow. Improve a little bit each day. It didn’t take you overnight to get unhealthy – so don’t expect rock hard abs in 2 weeks only working out 7 minutes a day. Time takes time.
  • PEACE – our emotional health. What do you do for peace? Pray, meditate, get out in nature, read, quiet time. Helping someone else brings an inner peace as the result of serving others and gratitude is a direct result of helping others in need.
  • CREATIVITY – do you write? start a journal or a blog. Music? play guitar, write a song. Paint? Ice sculpt? Do what makes you feel good, get out of yourself and create, and when you have tapped into that creative vein, it makes you more productive at work, at home, as a husband, father and son.
  • CONNECTION TO GOD/HIGHER POWER – Wake up and thank God everyday. Pray, meditate, make a gratitude list. The closer you connect to your Higher Power, when you reach those ‘thin places’ where you can feel the presence of God, will have a carryover effect into your day and your life.


Small improvements everyday lead up to BIG results. It takes time, but as soon as you start you can see powerful results.

Do these every day. Until you die. Because that’s how the story ends. You had no control of the beginning, but the middle – the meat of the story – is up to you.

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.” 
Ernest Hemingway


What are some other ways you can move from SEEM to BE?

Please comment or share!


Dave Rynne is a Business Development professional who believes there is always a better way to get things done. He writes about best sales practices, sales acceleration and how his past experiences have shaped his present Sales 2.0 philosophy. He believes in the power of Content Marketing. He likes to mix it up by writing other important stuff too.

Read more here:

Dave Rynne’s HubSpot Sales Blog

The Sun May Come Out Tomorrow, But I Need Its Light Today



Going through the comments of my last post – What If Tomorrow Never Comes? – someone said I should plan for tomorrow, just don’t take it for granted. I liked that, and there is truth there, but my response was “I try not to take it for granted because I know its not guaranteed. The sun may come out tomorrow but I need it’s light today.”

If I’m time traveling – worrying about tomorrow (or waiting for the ‘good’ and ‘happiness’ to happen tomorrow) or regretting the past, I am not in today, not present now. I spend a lot of time there; I really should have a custom made time travel suit built.

“Annie” sung The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow (I first saw it on stage with the original – Andrea McArdle – she was fantastic). Ever the optimist, she took action to “stick out her chin and grin” to face the day and try to make others happy with the hopes of a better tomorrow. A bright, shiny tomorrow.

The potential doom and gloom of today, along with the worry of tomorrow and the regrets of yesterday, has the capability of messing up our day before its even begun. I need tomorrow’s sun today! I need the light today! I need that light to shine on what’s in front of me so I can take action and do something about it, with it and for it.

Am I living for today, or dying for tomorrow?

I could fly to California, sit at a phone and make a call to New Zealand – I could technically be calling a friend tomorrow from today. That may be the only way to ‘cheat’ time.

But I live in today, so that’s where I need to stay if I want peace, happiness and a sense of fulfillment. If I want a better tomorrow, I need to do the work today. Work on myself today. Better myself today. Choose to be happy today.

We need to be active participants in our lives right here and now.

This is all easier said than done, but like everything else, it starts with the first step. Take the first step to be present in this moment and appreciate what you have right now.

Stop everything, close your eyes, take a deep breath and say “thank you”.

OK, are you back? Great. Welcome to now.

A better today gives you a much bigger chance at a better tomorrow.

So keep pushing for it, keep working for it – just keep on.

When you stay in today and find ways to help other people, take action and have a positive impact on those around you, your light will shine like the rising sun. You will forget about yesterday and be too busy in today to worry about tomorrow.

You can bet your bottom dollar on it.



What are some of the things you do to stay in today to make for a better tomorrow?

Please comment below!


Dave Rynne is a Business Development professional who believes there is always a better way to get things done. He writes about best sales practices, sales acceleration and how his past experiences have shaped his present Sales 2.0 philosophy.

Read more here:

Dave Rynne’s HubSpot Sales Blog

Dave Rynne’s LinkedIn Profile

This Sales Mistake You’re Making Is Like Throwing Away Free Money

When I first started my sales career as an overly aggressive outside salesman, we were taught to knock down doors for business, hunt out prospects, go in for the kill, and one-call close them. (Follow-ups were for losers who couldn’t close on the first date.)

In all my time on the job, I had never heard the word ‘upsell.’ Not in any of my trainings at two of the most aggressive B2B long-distance phone service reselling companies, and not in my early years as a broker. Instead, here’s how it went: Hunt them, sell them, and forget about them.

Holy shiitake, Batman. I left a lot of commission on the table.

There’s no better way to increase your monthly sales than to prospect your existing customers. You know, the ones you closed because you took the time to see what their needs were and the solution you could provide? The ones you’ve kept in touch with over time to make sure they were still shiny happy people?

If you’ve done it right, your clients will buy from you again. If you’ve treated them well and offered them solution-based recommendations, they will be open to new services or offerings because they will trust you. And if you know your customer, make an effort to keep up with them, and demonstrate your appreciation of their business, you’ll uncover new pain. You’ll either know whether a new solution you can offer would be helpful, or whether you should direct your customer to the company that can solve this pain.

If this is how you approach sales, you’ll become a partner in your clients’ businesses instead of coming off like a sales jockey trying to score an extra few bucks off your client so you can pay for the next round of drinks at happy hour. And because you’ll be trusted, you’ll actually make more money than if you simply pursued the next sale without regard for your customers’ needs.

All this is to say that upsells are not to be taken lightly.

The following scenarios are the three situations where upsells are generally appropriate:

  1. You uncover a customer’s new need because you’ve kept in contact with them, watch for news about them, and monitor their progress. You then offer them your solution.
  2. Your company releases a new product or service. Because you’ve taken the time to understand your client’s business, you know your new offering is a good fit for one of their needs you haven’t been previously solving.
  3. A client considers you a trusted advisor, and calls you with a question. When you ask them why they ran into this problem, they tell you about a challenge they’re facing, so you recommend another product your company offers to make sure they don’t have that challenge in the future.

When you are a solutions-based sales provider and a professional who knows his customer, you can dig into the treasure trove that is your hard-won client base to offer new potential solutions to people who have trusted you before. Because you’ve previously acted professionally, your customers are 99% more likely to pick up the phone when you call than 99% of the new prospects you’re trying to reach for the first time.

What do you do when your firm has a new offering? Do you go out cold and see who will buy? Or do you go to your client base first?

When I was a rookie salesman, I never would have thought of upselling, because nobody ever taught me anything different. It was “eat what you kill” that day and that day only. Tomorrow was another hunting day. “Follow-up” and “upsell” were not part of my sales lexicon.

Old-school sales teaches reps to close and move on.

But modern salespeople know that the close is just the beginning. You must deliver, follow-up, serve, and upsell (when appropriate!).

If I ever took the time to look at the additional offerings I may have been able to help my old clients implement and save some money, I would have sold them more services and made more money myself. But I didn’t understand the potential of upsells, and I only went hunting for new business — I only cared about the money going into my pocket.

Now I know that as long as I help clients save money and add value to their business, the money will take care of itself.

So who can you upsell today?